Losing the will to fight: Cheryl Cole admits she's 'had enough' as she poses in a Burberry biker jacket for a stunning photoshoot in the latest issue of Elle magazine
She launched her solo career over a year ago with the energetic floorfiller Fight For This Love.
But it appears Cheryl Cole isn't feeling quite so feisty anymore, declaring she's 'had enough' after a difficult 2010.
The X Factor judge, 27, admits her self-esteem was so low last year, she can't bear to look at photos of herself.
In an exclusive new interview with Elle magazine, Cheryl reflects on the past 12 months, which saw her divorce husband Ashley, fight a battle with malaria and controversy on the last series of X Factor.
She tells the publication: 'I have taken so much s**t, I’ve stopped listening to other people. I have had enough.
'There's only so much you can cope with and then you either allow it to swallow you up or you say, "Sod this". I have had it with negativity and bitchiness.
'I want people to like my music but I couldn't give a s**t about what they think of me. Take it or leave it. I do not care.'
'Take it or leave it, I do not care': Cole said she's detached herself from the public opinion of herself
Turning her back on the negativity: Cheryl is looking forward to 2011 with a fresh start
Although Cheryl continued her solo career success with her new single Promise This and second album Messy Little Raindrops hitting No.1, her personal life was not so smooth.
Cheryl and Ashley split last February amid allegations of his infidelity before divorcing in September, and in July came close to death after contracting malaria on a visit to Tanzania with close friend Derek Hough.
Although she considered therapy to help her deal with the fallout from her divorce and illness, she eventually decided against it, explaining: 'I'm not trusting enough to bare my soul to a stranger.
'I'm lucky in that I've got family and friends to turn to. I realise now that it's not a bad thing to lean on people and accept support.
'You get to find out who your real friends are when the s**t hits the fan.'
Aside from her personal turmoil with her marriage breakdown and malaria battle, Cheryl also suffered a backlash from fans during The X Factor.
She was criticised for choosing Katie Waissel and Cher Lloyd for her final three girls - despite both fluffing their auditions at the judges' houses - and snubbing Zimbabwe-born singer Gamu Nhengu - who is currently fighting a deportation order from the UK.
Then in Week 5 of the live shows, she caused further controversy when she refused to vote when two of her acts - Waissel and Treyc Cohen - were in the bottom two.
Dannii Minogue eclipsed Cheryl in both the fashion and popularity stakes with 42 per cent of Heat magazine readers voting for the Australian as their favourite judge, compared to Cheryl's 18 per cent and Simon Cowell's 35 per cent.
The backlash for the singer, who had previously been built up as a the 'Nation's Sweetheart', no doubt contributed to her low self-esteem.
She explains: 'My confidence has never hit such an all-time low as it has this last year. It feels really bad. I don't look at pictures of myself. I can't.'
To watch a behind-the-scenes video of the shoot, visit Elle Magazine's website.
• The full shoot and interview appears in the February issue of ELLE Magazine, out today.
Source:Dailymail
